it hurts more in the daytime
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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