No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
