see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
