Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
