I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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