You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
