he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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