How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
