don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize