His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
