I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
