Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
