so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
