Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
wow bdsm is so cute
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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