So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
