its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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