Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
