But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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