Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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