I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No subtext here. People are naked.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
