porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
