im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
