drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
