if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize