OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize