Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
