...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My ATM looks so different sober.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
