Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
