Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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