I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
