haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
wrigley field is MILF paradise
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize