Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
