I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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