I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
