Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
