i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize