how can u be prego again
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
