"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
