I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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