I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
