I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
