I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize