I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
