So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Alive.
So much puke
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I supernannyed him into submission
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
