I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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