He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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