jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
