Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
