Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
