...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
