You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
