Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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