Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
