i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
