do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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