Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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