Just fell off a train. Bad.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
