when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
